When blending families, one of the most difficult situations is moving in together with kids. The families who are moving in together with kids will need to have very honest conversations with each other.
Sometimes people will remarry because of a divorce. This can be one of the most difficult situations, as one will have to navigate the challenges of kids having different sets of rules. Kids who are going through a divorce face some difficult times, so it is crucial to help them to feel like their new family situation is stable. Take extra steps to encourage this stability and be extra patient in these situations.
Sometimes one parent will pass away, which creates an entirely different scenario for moving in together with kids. In these situations it is very important to communicate with the kids that the new spouse is not replacing the deceased. Instead, they are becoming a part of the family. It can be helpful in this situation to include the new family member in old family traditions. Purposely creating new family traditions is one way of helping the kids take ownership of the situation and to create a real family dynamic.
There are many things to avoid when moving in togetherwith kids. Make sure to not make comparisons, especially in front of the kids, between the kids’ original parent and the recently moved-in parent. This can create stress for the new parent and sends mixed messages to the kids. In this situation, it is very important to present a unified front, or show that the two of you work together to make decisions that are best for the kids. It is also critical for the new parent to not be overly sensitive. Remember that these are kids and sometimes have ineffective ways of getting their ideas out. If they are feeling unsafe, they might ask why the new parent is around instead of saying that they feel unsafe. A new parent needs to be prepared to go out of their way at all times to make the kids feel at home.If you are a new parent in either of these situations, it is best for you to take initiative and be proactive. It may take many attempts to connect with the kids, but over time they will notice your honest effort and begin to trust you. It is also helpful to keep a good community around you that can help support you and give you advice when you need it.